@possibilyss: In hindsight, i shouldn't have said 'surprise me' when the judge was about to sentence me
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@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
@rolldiggity: "Any minute now. Any minute..." -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood
@Cheeseboy22: Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you.