@possibilyss: In hindsight, i shouldn't have said 'surprise me' when the judge was about to sentence me
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@Brampersandon_: How did the date go? -Not good. Aww what went wrong? -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
@greggjgc79: [catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened.
@TakeItFromUsPR: Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome!