@possibilyss: In hindsight, i shouldn't have said 'surprise me' when the judge was about to sentence me
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@amethystxmatt: turns out skrillexs music has healing properties: during a concert, a paralysed boy stood up and left
@IrishVin: My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants.
@emmafreud: This is joyous. Go to any YouTube video. Pause it. Click anywhere outside the video and then type 1980. Now defend yourself.
@SoulYodeler: Wait you *must* be the aunt I've heard soooo much about. The one who looks like Freddie Mercury and laughs like a jackal. Is this her honey?