@possibilyss: In hindsight, i shouldn't have said 'surprise me' when the judge was about to sentence me
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@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient.
@iLikeCatShirts: Dads out on the dance floor just respecting the heck out of the fine craftsmanship of the wood and stain.
@SonOfCha: Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space.