@Pirate_nurse: In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
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@AndRyanTF: GF - What's that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
@PastorBate: Sea cucumbers are actually animals, so regular cucumbers are either lying or they need to step their game up.
@XplodingUnicorn: My dog loves me, but he also eats his own poop. I don't think I can trust his judgment.
@iGreenMonk: If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.