@ComedyCarter: In life, God is my co-pilot. Unfortunately He is on the no-fly list thanks to His ties to several extremist groups.
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@UncleDuke1969: Parent/Child conversation tweets are always so cute & sweet! Thought I'd try one: 18: Can I borrow the car? Me: No Wasn't that adorable?!
@westofsunday: Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope
@drinksmcgee: Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn't the most romantic move ever.
@BillPelicanBros: A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's Home...so I gave him my kids.