@jewfacekilla: In marijuana's defense, I'm lazy as shit completely sober too.
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@Bez: When someone texts "whatcha doin" after midnight the appropriate response is "someone else" even if you're just eatin' pizza all alone.
@Jake_Vig: With virtually no power, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility.
@MadamBetteNoire: Pollen count so high, junkies are trying to uncook their meth back to Sudafed.
@Bownuggets: HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER