@GuyThe_Guy: In Maryland we can't legally carry concealed weapons so our best defense against being murdered is the zig-zag runaway.
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@WheelTod: [Stick Insects Anonymous] Group Leader: "There's no easy way of saying this. But I believe one of you may be a plant."
@UncleDuke1969: Me: "I need a home improvement loan." Banker: "What will you be using the money for?" Me: "A divorce lawyer."
@slimmy_shady: 20% of traffic accidents involve deer.Who allowed deer to drive in the first place?