@GuyThe_Guy: In Maryland we can't legally carry concealed weapons so our best defense against being murdered is the zig-zag runaway.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@plank_sinatra: My parents are pretty middle aged. "So? That's pretty norm-" *two knights bust in* "CHILD, DOST THOU REQUEST REFRESHMENTS FROM THE TAVERN?"
@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.
@PaperWash: I'm sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That's your new name now, there's nothing we can do about it.