@rivalpunks: In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.
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@junejuly12: Maybe leave yourself in a hot car with a window open one inch for 15 minutes while your dog runs into the store
@AbrasiveGhost: GOD: [as a kid] DINOSAURS! GOD: [as a teenager] You will know the profound sadness of existence, humans.
@AmishPornStar1: "Daddy, why do dogs need whiskers?" -my 7-year-old son, while discreetly holding scissors in one hand and dog whiskers in the other
@darkpassenger74: I just went to church and had communion. Ok it was a gas station and I had 2 donuts but I did say a prayer before scratching my lotto ticket