@rivalpunks: In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.
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@Just_Lee_: Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words.
@rainerfm: Little did I know the first time I bought a 3-pack of condoms that I was buying a lifetime supply.
@Parkerlawyer: Before you call me, ask yourself, “Can I text it?” Before you text me, ask yourself, “Can I email it?” Before you email me, ask yourself, “Can I just think it really, really hard?”