@bridger_w: In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don't think I can keep watching movies
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@KellyMeldrum: It would be easier on everyone if my kids' teachers would cut out the middle man and email my homework assignments directly to me.
@Home_Halfway: ME: Hey congrats, I hear you're pregnant CLIENT: Yes, thank you! ME: *trying to think of a good power move* Many species eat their young
@Kirangandhi: HORROR STORY- U are the only one alive in a post apocalyptic world. U tweet and it gets retweeted!