@TheWoodenslurpy: In my 20s, I was bullied by a crow the size of a chicken for several months.
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@bridger_w: If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist
@nghtfltguy: Women do not want to hear what you think..nnThey want to hear what they think..nnIn a deeper voice......
@TotallyAllen: HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, "Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."