@TheWoodenslurpy: In my 20s, I was bullied by a crow the size of a chicken for several months.
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@laurajennyjo: I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid
@AdinaSunny: Mother Earth: I'm not a regular mom. I'm a Cool Mom. [humans pollute the atmosphere and destroy nature] Earth: This is fine. I'm a Cool Mom
@AndyAsAdjective: INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength? ME: shape shifting INTERVIEWER: is that so? INTERVIEWER: yes INTERVIEWER: holy shit