@English_Muffin: In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
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@BlindChow: "That'll be $19.94." *pulls out $50 bill* "Sorry, we've had a problem with counterfeit bills. Have anything smaller?" *pulls out $25 bill*
@SweatyJester: If a picture says a thousand words, why do you need 22 hashtags on your Instagram photographs?
@VeryLonelyLuke: I'm good at making friends. Wait, that's not right. Correction: I'm good at making friends up.