@jake_lach: In my dog's mind he's saving the world, one tree at a time.
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@ch000ch: *crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok
@nigelgodwin: I bought myself one of those "off road vehicles" last week... Paid $3000 for it, got it home and found out it was a Canoe!!!
@Vodkantots: Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse.