@SuperApple8: In my dreams, my balloons come back down and apologize for leaving me.
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@rolldiggity: 1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, "It has to look like an accident." 4. Walk away.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Jesus on the cross] *texts with 1 hand* "um dad y hav u 4saken me wtf" *5 hrs pass* "new phone. who dis?"
@LurkAtHomeMom: One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on.