@dlockw21: In my experience, people who say "I'm not trying to be difficult," don't really seem to be trying all that hard.
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@michaeldean0116: A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his bum. Doctors described his condition as "stable". #manicmonday
@krisv_723: On Sunday's I Iike to dress as Satan & stand outside of churches, yelling at the parishioners that it's not working & I own their soul.
@TheToddWilliams: "It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people.
@AndyAsAdjective: *pauses Airwolf on the VCR* *sets wine cooler down on the coffee table* *turns to her* ME: what do you mean this isn't working out?