@dlockw21: In my experience, people who say "I'm not trying to be difficult," don't really seem to be trying all that hard.
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@Sassafrantz: Relationship Status: I ate 7 bananas trying to get the new guy at work to notice me.
@goldengateblond: Don't ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
@teenpuke: *cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*
@alextranquada: EXORCIST: the previous tenant was murdered. You can see their ghost in the background of this photo SPOOKY GHOST VOICE: oooomg deleeeete it