@smirkykev: In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KimmyMonte: Hockey is a sport where people use feet knives to walk so they can score a goal with a tiny hamburger.
@Amusitr0n: My uncle Terry told me not to worry, that love would find a way, but on the other hand he once took a shit in a hammock
@TylerLinkin: I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!
@Twtercide: I will not think of sex at church I will not think of sex at church I will not. Priest: Which leads us to his Second Coming Me: Goddammit!