@squirrel74wkgn: In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works.
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@neiltyson: If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
@truegritrumble: FRIEND: Did you hear there is some guy on the loose stealing puppies? ME: That's terrible! *my backpack starts barking*
@lawyerthoughts: Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around "the law". Judges don't like it.