@squirrel74wkgn: In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works.
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@Kali_Mura: Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my -- Satan: I have a girlfriend.
@NoogsCorner: Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: I love the oaky, earthen taste of this wine. FRIEND: Mine is both crisp and full-bodied. ME: [corks on my teeth] I am Count Corkula.