@meganamram: In my opinion it's the aborted fetus' fault for not carrying a gun for protection
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@themorris23: On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "At least Donald Trump says what he thinks." Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place.
@Reverend_Scott: The year 2077. Due to the dog filter, face swap, and distortion filters, senior citizens have no idea what they really looked like as teens.
@flaskofwhiskeyy: Whoever said "out of sight, out of mind" has never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.