@smint: In my pocket is a computer far more powerful than the one that took Apollo11 to the Moon. I use it to photograph food & fling birds at pigs.
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@dinokitten: "Dude go make the first move on her!" "Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing." *approaches girl* "Knight to f3"
@badbanana: Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
@PaperWash: "Sorry I'm late" Why are there scratches all over your face? "Jujitsu training" You can scratch in jujitsu? "It's my cat's best move"