@mayamanion: In my son's class they were talking about allergies, my son said "My mom says she's allergic to most other moms" Super
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@Sorrowscopes: Leo: You will unwrap a package of Pop Tarts and none of the corners will have fallen off. This is how you will know you died in your sleep.
@shanethevein: My wife told me some guy at the bar was buying her drinks all night to get me jealous. We'll it worked. I wish he was buying me drinks.
@Swishergirl24: Officer: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pass Officer: have you been drinking? Me: pass Officer: You can't just keep.. Me: pass