@mayamanion: In my son's class they were talking about allergies, my son said "My mom says she's allergic to most other moms" Super
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [goes to sign up for course on how to handle bad news better] "sorry, we're full" [lights myself on fire]
@Freudianscript: People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing.
@hippieswordfish: [calls wife] honey help 'whats wrong?' im done shopping at the door store but now i cant tell which one is the exit 'ok just stop crying'