@jayleno: In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a "cronut," which is croissant/donut. We call these people "midiots," which is a moron/idiot.
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@bridger_w: The general rule is that you shouldn't ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
@krustythe_klown: The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest invention ever. Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?
@TheGoodGodAbove: Stephen Fry is being investigated for blasphemous comments. Stephen Colbert is being investigated for a joke. LET MY STEPHENS GO! 😡