@thezwickers3: In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it's in.
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@GaryJanetti: College graduates, did you know there are people that went to Princeton that can't find a job? And you just went to a normal shitty school.
@ChipKellysBalls: Would bet there's a math equation that can tell how many kids a person has by measuring the amount of Cheerios on the floor of their car ...
@AGreaterMonster: I would totally surf a tsunami. If I didn't get nauseous on water. And if tsunamis weren't dangerous. And I knew how to surf.