@thezwickers3: In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it's in.
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@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."
@Book_Krazy: Dr: You've gained some weight Me: You said I should take it easy Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick Me: WELL I'M NOT A MIND READER