@thezwickers3: In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it's in.
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@TriciaLockwood: me: this cat is kissing me on the lips because it LOVES me cat: mother's lips taste perpetually of bacon
@hazelmotes1: Why does everyone have to point out they adopted their dog? Are they worried that we are suspicious because it doesn't look like them?
@MikeMcNeil_: wife: "HOW ARE WE OUT OF ICE AGAIN?" me: "DUNNO," I yell from the bathroom; the penguin and I can barely contain our laughter.