@Lisa_Laughs_: In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking.
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@neiltyson: To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.
@SteveSuckington: Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter
@AbbyHasIssues: Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.