@Lisa_Laughs_: In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking.
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@jonnysun: its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say "hello" becuase i dread making smalltalk
@truegritrumble: WIFE: Can you send these party invites out? ME: Sure *throws them out window* WIFE: Did you- ME: If they're meant to come, they'll come.
@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
@justabloodygame: If you watch The Matrix backwards, a young man slowly comes down from a wild acid trip before returning to his low-level tech job.