@shutupmikeginn: In order to save space, Ricky Gervais & Seth McFarlane are both one guy now. Frankly, it's been a long time coming
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@KKAlThani: Happy International Women's day. Or a sad one. Or an angry one. Or a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women.
@JohnLemongrab: "open up, this is the police!" "well, I've felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I'm sad all the time-" "no the door open up the door"
@iGreenMonk: This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone's head.
@Roflindian: By iPhone 30, you'll have a choice. Whether to buy an iPhone or an island in the Caribbean.