@Hebafouad21: In our wedding, I'll invite his ex and be like "Still believe you can get him back?"
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@joejwest: DATE: You hear that an ostrich escaped from the zoo? ME: [from the kitchen] No DATE: Oh. What's for dinner? ME: A suspiciously large chicken
@jennifereblue: I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!