@TweetsByTheTony: In pretty sure my wife's most prized possession is her plastic bag full of other plastic bags.
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@BlairLoudly: [end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED.
@philco816: There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.
@maebemarbles: Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs