@MomOfTeen: In rest homes, when lovers have spats, do they key each other's walkers???
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@TheAlexNevil: The Mrs recognizes my "tell" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud "A-OOGA" noise.
@UNTRESOR: Just got kicked off a corn forum for saying you can eat the cob. I'll just sign up with a different name. They can't silence the truth.
@DecantAndPour: I lost a very close friend and drinking buddy last week. She got her finger caught in a wedding ring.