@AnOrangeSNES: In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What does God smell like? Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese?
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO!