@aveuaskew: In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn't the best way to respond to my therapist.
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@shesananteater: My neighbor started mowing his yard at 6am so I opened all my windows and vacuumed because I don't understand how revenge works.
@QuinOShea: When my wife said let's do something fun for our anniversary I had no idea she meant together. I'm a man not a mind reader. I forgive you.
@Carbosly: Facebook: I'm happy! Instagram: I'm pretty! Vine: I'm artsy! Pinterest: I'm crafty! Twitter: I'm lying everywhere but here.