@faisaladam_: In Soviet Russia a bar walks into men. The case of the man-killing-bar remains unsolved.
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@dksc4life: It was awkward to see the "World's Greatest Driver" bumper sticker on my car when it got pulled out of the lake today.
@EndhooS: [Meeting friends baby] Me: [bouncing him on my knee] he's a big boy isn't he Friend: yeah he was 11 pounds Me: wow that's cheap
@markydoodoo: The deep ocean is so mysterious. Sharks and octopuses could be down there having dance battles and we'd never know. We'd never know.