@UnFitz: In space, no one can hear you scream.
In cyberspace, no one can shut you up.
@SummerCandyEyes: The neighbor's cat brought me a dead lizard while I was outside having a snack on the patio, so it's now some weird interspecies potluck.
@mackswift: Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse.
@SexyInsomniac: Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
@TheDoorTHEDOOR: An app that detects itself running on other people's phones, then both devices play Random Encounter music. What happens next is up to you.
@jackiembouvier: Well, Jesus, now all Samsung's competitors have to say is "we won't blow up in your pocket and set you ablaze!"