@UnFitz: In space, no one can hear you scream.
In cyberspace, no one can shut you up.
@cpabry: Pal - "Can you help me put this IKEA desk together?"
Me - "I'll need a screwdriver."
Pal - "Sure what type?"
Me - "Greygoose or Kettle One."
@Manda_like_wine: When Wall-E first came out I was like "'what a profound statement" and now, a few years older, I'm like "gimme one of those sick chairs."
@AnOrangeSNES: [Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist]
Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like?
Me: Not anymore I can't
@jes_ryan: "Check engine"
Yep, it's still there.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: We need to hire smarter people.
Me: Is there someone smarter I can talk to about this?