@JermHimselfish: In spite of what you might have heard, some pretty magical things happen behind dirty dumpsters in shady alleys.
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@shatty48: Don't ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don't wanna look suspicious.
@Burger_Time_: [as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first
@coketruck76: 13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go
@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?