@meaculpau27: In Starbucks a woman went sh*t house rat crazy when she got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot she ordered. I'm fine now.
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@NYC_Blonde: Me: The salad with chicken, cheese and can you put it between slices of bread? Waiter: So a sandwich? Me: I'd prefer if we called it a salad
@DadandBuried: My son LOVES dogs and is TERRIFIED of them. Which is EXACTLY how I feel about my WIFE.
@TheTweetOfGod: You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you.