@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shamans_heal: I've seen: •UFOs •Ghosts •A Two Headed Turtle •Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
@BuckyIsotope: Sir, the children at the petting zoo are unhappy. They think our animals are lame *stares off into distance* We're gonna need a bigger goat
@causticbob: Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people. Why a man would want two wives is a bigamystery.
@GrantTanaka: "Can you validate my parking?" "You parked beautifully. Your dad would be proud." *wipes away tears* "Thanks."