@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
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@SteveKoehler22: No matter how spicy your sex life is ... If he's a two-thymer; cumin in that ginger Rosemary, my sage advice ... would bay to leaf him.
@Tmoney68: If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be.
@tarashoe: ME: i'd like to get rid of all this PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body ME: and my head
@sarahjeong: the turkey takes his mask off it's edward snowden obama groans, it's too late to unpardon him now