@envydatropic: In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s
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@StansaidAirport: I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in.
@TEXASVETERAN: Me: I love you! Girlfriend: Is that you, or the vodka talking? Me: It's me...talking to the vodka.
@jctsmileyone: No YOU let your kid think he could turn the traffic lights green with his mind powers until he was 10 yrs old!
@LivibelsDada: Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once.