@soul_crazzy: In the beginning, God made Heaven and Earth... The rest was made in China.
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: A gorgeous woman's been staring me down from across this cafe for an hour. The wildly handsome man directly behind me must be super jealous.
@CherBear162: I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
@ibid78: [sees a kid at the park doing the pee pee dance] "NO KID, WAIT- [it starts raining buckets of pee]