@HatfieldAnne: In the early hours, the hoarse retching of a cat with a hairball. First one out of bed has to clean up. My bladder is empty. Bring it.
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@rockymomax: [oval office] SECRETARY: (shrieks) there's a dead rat on my desk! PRESIDENT WHO IS A CAT: wow someone must really like you *winks*
@Smug_Lemur: *at psychic reading* Psychic: you probably think you're wasting your time Me: Ooh you're good
@sarcasticmommy4: What I said: GET IN THE CAR, WE'RE LATE! What my kids hear: Start looking for a toy that was lost 5 years ago.