@michael_raphone: [In the gym] hey guys it'd be a lot easier to lift these weights if we worked together
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@BiscuitFloater: Pro tip: Next time you're at a bar, go up to a woman & whisper "Hey, wanna get outta here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang
@Sean_Burgundy_: Winning a fight with your gf is like winning a vacation to Detroit. Don't get too excited