@prodigalsam: In the meantime I plan on absolutely crushing it over on LinkedIn.
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@weinerdog4life: Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years.
@Douchekevin: My four year old planted 25¢ in the garden and said a money tree is going grow there. I laughed- but water it at night just in case
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book? Me: Every night Priest: What's their favorite part? Me: When Frodo destroys the ring
@Phook75: If love at first sight was really a thing, I would've been married to Cheetara from Thundercats