@magsaidwhat: In the new version of Star Wars, Harrison Ford slowly flies the Millenium Falcon in the left lane with the turn signal on
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@Barack_and_Joe: When your homie hyped you up to talk to a girl and you look back one last time before risking it all.
@FuckabillyRex: I just saw an old guy pick a rubber glove out of a garbage can and put it on, and I think he might be missing the point of rubber gloves.
@iamspacegirl: Geppetto: I wish you were a real boy Pinocchio *begins to sing & dance around* Geppetto: yay! [3 hrs later] Geppetto: This was a mistake
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!