@shawnspree: In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones.
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@Dis0beyJay: *Putting ikea furniture together* Her: ummm, it's supposed to be a dresser Me:* Standing next to a wooden T.Rex* I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, LINDA
@treadmilld: Someone just honked their horn to get me out of my parking space quicker so now we will both be here until we're dead.
@polite_good_boy: DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof