@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
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@AlexRogaski: Biologist screws up: Mutant killer virus Physicist screws up: Deadly black hole Geologist screws up: Rock on table is now rock on floor
@OhNoSheTwitnt: When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human.
@rcromwell4: What percentage of the zombies are just chasing you down to tell you they're vegan?