@Shock_Monster: In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers.
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@karanbirtinna: (Hot girl walks in) Brain: Alright don’t panic. Tell her she has beautiful hair. No wait tell her she has beautiful legs! Me: Hi you have beautiful hairy legs. Brain: My bad.
@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.