@WildeThingy: In the UK we celebrate Thanksgiving as the day we managed to ship all our paranoid religious fundamentalists off to another continent.
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@TheToddWilliams: "Your new girlfriend seems a bit, I don't know...bookish?" She has a name you know! "What is it?" ...Paige.
@Up2Long: Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying "I'm stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"
@scottthetwat: Drug sniffing dogs are wrong 80 percent of the time. You would be too if you were sniffing drugs all day.