@Kenworthy79: In the year 2065, old men will say 'bae'
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@turtledumplin: 8yo: mommy how old are you? Me: 46 8yo: *blink blink* so you seen a real dinosaur?
@MethShart: David Hasselhoff saves money on tailored shirts by not ordering the first 5 buttons.
@Tmoney68: Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment.
@brendohare: Here's my impression of an astronomer discovering that an asteroid is coming to destroy earth: "This will make me famous but not for long"