@duckpuppet: In these tough times, you can pop in the Titanic DVD to watch rich people die painfully, their money powerless against the fury of nature
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@sixfootcandy: Mom always said to wear clean underwear in case I got hit by a bus and I'm like "they wouldn't be clean anyway mom!"
@reallyshitpost: DOCTOR: I have bad news MAN WHO WOKE UP FROM 5 YR COMA: I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla from the Cincinnati zoo
@DanMentos: [commercial] "This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling" narrator: Narrators
@thenatewolf: I totally get why women are attracted to men who ride motorcycles. Like you increase your chances of getting to have two husbands by a lot.