@duckpuppet: In these tough times, you can pop in the Titanic DVD to watch rich people die painfully, their money powerless against the fury of nature
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@mansizedthumbs: Little did he know that his foot powered filing system would have made him billions if he had only thought of a better name - The Ped-o-file
@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
@SSDated: Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!