@Carrie_Rachel: In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern.
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@TheAlexNevil: WIFE: Did you take care of that thing I asked you to do? ME: No. WIFE: I’ve asked you at least 10 times. ME: I’ll get it done this afternoon. WIFE: You better. ME (terrified): [has no idea what she asked me to do.]
@wimpsicle: How you doin' Jerusalem! "WINE" Here's a new tric- "MAKE WINE" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*
@TheCatWhisprer: [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know