@bridger_w: In time, the dust settled, and the dust took a job it hated and married someone it could barely tolerate
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@weinerdog4life: Side effects may include: upset stomach, diarrhea, some wolves will chase you, like 6-12 wolves, it's ok
@QwertyJones3: [Me as an Italian language translator] Police: Ask him where the money is hidden. Me: Spaghetti tortellini Benghazi Fibonacci cappuccino.
@MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!