@corysnearowski: In WWII soldiers left burlesque magazines around so if an enemy found it he'd yell "HOt DOG" then howl like a wolf & give away his position
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@MarkusJ: *first astronaut lands on Mars* NASA: How does it feel son? Astronaut: Feels pretty good to be 33 million miles away from Dave Matthews Band
@andreahardy33: Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward.
@Pro_Jones_: ME: *pointing gun* Give me everything. WORKER: Sir, this is a pet shelter. ME: I know. *carried off into the sunset by a wave of animals*
@chuuew: [Bank] COP: [through megaphone] LET ONE OF THE HOSTAGES GO ROBBER: Okay, who wants out? ME: [spinning on bosses chair] I'm comfortable.