@corysnearowski: In WWII soldiers left burlesque magazines around so if an enemy found it he'd yell "HOt DOG" then howl like a wolf & give away his position
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@hell_homer: deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio
@mrtruthandsoul: The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend
@myles_morrison: Any girl who says she's not the jealous type will change her tune when another girl phones you drunk at 3am.
@Jake_Vig: ALIEN: You Earthlings have many technological advances. How do you predict the weather? ME: We pull a rodent out of a box.