@TodaysResume: Include a snapshot of Doge the dog with your #resume. When asked about it during the interview, reply "What do you meme?"
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@evildadatron: Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?
@rogerbellin: future historians will point to this and ask how we didn't see the third world war coming