@ActualPerson084: INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR "HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"
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@corysnearowski: Update on Dad Watching Discovery Channel: he just muttered "you son of a bitch" to a Hippo who chased off the lesser-dominate Hippo he liked
@QwertyJones3: [Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] "You doing legs today?" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt.
@david8hughes: Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father Luke: really? Darth Vader: yeah. Why? Luke: you have the voice of a heavyset black guy is all