@vikkaroni: When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too.

@StickyickyBuns: Is there an app to delete your number out of other people's phones yet?

@lucidchemistry: I found if you put the right stickers on your cooler and walk as fast as you can they'll let you in any part of the hospital you want.

@murrman5: *put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*

@JohnHilsen: Kinda cool how Earth is the largest planet in the whole world.