@Lazer_Cat_: Independence Day was basically aliens blew shit up and then we gave them a copy of Windows and won the war.
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@kirsthalliwell: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life???
@TattleTSister: Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around.
@Smooheed: How to get out of a car in front of a large crowd of people Step 1: forget to take your seat belt off
@3sunzzz: I love showering with my husband. There's nothing more intimate during sex than discussing water temperature.